Surgery is often a serious subject. It can be frightening and uncertain. Yet humor has always helped people deal with fear and anxiety. Many poets have used wit and laughter to soften the edges of the surgical experience. Whether they were patients, doctors, or observers, they found ways to laugh about it all. In this article, we explore 12 funny poems about surgery. Each piece brings a smile while shining a light on a topic that is often treated too gravely.
12 Funny Poems About Surgery
1. “The Operation” by Shel Silverstein
Shel Silverstein was a master of simple, playful poems. In “The Operation,” he captures a child’s fear and misunderstanding of surgery with humor.
Excerpt:
“You get your tonsils out, they say,
And you get to stay home all day,
You get to lie in bed and play,
And eat ice cream and Jell-O.”
This short poem highlights how children view surgery more as a ticket to fun treats than a serious medical procedure. Silverstein’s wit keeps the mood light while reminding readers that fear often stems from the unknown.
Source: “Where the Sidewalk Ends,” Shel Silverstein, 1974.
2. “Operating Room” by Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash was famous for his clever, rhyming humor. “Operating Room” shows the absurdity of surgery preparation from the patient’s point of view.
Excerpt:
“Surgeons must be very careful
When they take the knife!
Underneath their fine incisions
Stirs the culprit—Life!”
Though brief, the poem pokes fun at the heavy responsibility placed on surgeons. It reminds us, with a wink, how fragile and complicated life really is.
Source: “Collected Verse of Ogden Nash,” 1949.
3. “Before Surgery” by Judith Viorst
Judith Viorst captures the anxiety and stubborn hope of someone heading into surgery. Her humor softens the serious mood.
Excerpt:
“I am hoping
To be the first patient
Who wakes up to find
The problem just went away.”
Viorst’s dry, almost resigned tone reflects the wishful thinking many patients experience. Humor here acts as a way to cope with fear.
Source: “If I Were in Charge of the World and Other Worries,” Judith Viorst, 1981.
4. “Hospital Sketches” by Louisa May Alcott
While not a single poem, Alcott’s Hospital Sketches includes poetic fragments and humorous observations about Civil War surgeries.
Excerpt:
“The patient groaned,
The doctor frowned,
I laughed and said,
‘Still ticking sound!’”
Alcott found herself using humor to handle the grim realities of war hospitals. These light verses are a balm amid bleakness.
Source: “Hospital Sketches,” Louisa May Alcott, 1863.
5. “Surgery” by Roger McGough
Roger McGough often mixes humor with deeper truths. His poem “Surgery” is a tongue-in-cheek view of the odd things people hope surgery can fix.
Excerpt:
“Cut out my shyness, doc,
And sew me up with charm.
Excise my clumsiness too,
Before it does more harm.”
McGough’s playful demands show how humans wish for easy fixes for life’s intangible problems. The humor is sharp but kind.
Source: “Collected Poems,” Roger McGough, 2003.
6. “Doctor’s Orders” by Pam Ayres
Pam Ayres is known for her humorous takes on everyday life. “Doctor’s Orders” shows the absurdity patients sometimes feel when given medical advice.
Excerpt:
“No caffeine, no whiskey, no women,
No smoking, no stress, no good fun.
I asked him, ‘Then what is the point, Doc?’
He smiled and said, ‘Living, my son.'”
This witty verse reminds readers that sometimes, the cure seems worse than the disease. Humor helps underline the universal feeling of resistance to medical restrictions.
Source: “Pam Ayres: Surgically Enhanced,” Pam Ayres, 2006.
7. “Post-Op” by Billy Collins
Billy Collins, the former U.S. Poet Laureate, often mixes the profound with the hilarious. In “Post-Op,” he captures the surreal feeling after surgery.
Excerpt:
“I awoke
to the green smile of a nurse
and the soft beeping of machines,
and realized with joy:
nothing important was missing.”
The gentle humor in realizing that all limbs and senses remain intact offers a warm chuckle for anyone who has woken up groggy after a procedure.
Source: “Ballistics,” Billy Collins, 2008.
8. “Surgical Precision” by Wendy Cope
Wendy Cope uses wit to comment on how surgeons focus on tiny details while missing the big picture.
Excerpt:
“He stitched me neat from hip to chin,
Admired the line he’d neatly pinned,
But forgot to ask how I was within.”
Cope’s sharp humor exposes the sometimes mechanical view of patients in medicine. Her rhymes keep the poem light, despite the serious point.
Source: “Serious Concerns,” Wendy Cope, 1992.
9. “The Anesthetic” by Dorothy Parker
Dorothy Parker, queen of sardonic humor, described anesthesia with her typical sharp wit.
Excerpt:
“I never knew before
What such a muffled roar
Could be—the swooping sound
Of sleep swooping around.”
Even as she describes the experience of drifting under, Parker’s humor and cleverness shine through, making readers grin despite the serious subject.
Source: “Collected Poems: Not So Deep as a Well,” Dorothy Parker, 1936.
10. “Dr. Feelgood” by John Updike
John Updike’s poem “Dr. Feelgood” satirizes the over-reliance on medical intervention. It blends humor with skepticism toward the over-medicalization of life.
Excerpt:
“He smooths my brow,
gives me the smile
of a man who knows
what I’m going through.
And what a man he is!”
The poem takes a playful jab at the idea of a doctor who is supposed to know all the answers, making light of the patient-doctor dynamic with humor.
Source: “Collected Poems,” John Updike, 2009.
11. “Surgical Blues” by Charles Bukowski
Charles Bukowski often blended humor with dark realism. In “Surgical Blues,” he finds strange comfort in the absurdity of hospitals.
Excerpt:
“The walls are clean,
the beds are white,
the nurses smile—
but it still ain’t right.”
Bukowski’s grim but funny view reflects the surreal disconnection patients often feel. Humor here is bitter but healing.
Source: “Love Is a Dog From Hell,” Charles Bukowski, 1977.
12. “Instructions to the Surgeon” by Brian Bilston
Brian Bilston, the “unofficial Poet Laureate of Twitter,” offers a hilarious poem listing what patients wish doctors could fix.
Excerpt:
“While you’re at it,
Remove my guilt,
Stitch in some peace,
And throw out the guilt.”
Bilston’s gentle wordplay highlights how surgery becomes a metaphor for emotional healing. His humor is clever and comforting.
Source: Published on Brian Bilston’s social media, 2020.
Conclusion
The 12 funny poems about surgery we explored prove that laughter belongs even in the operating room. Whether through the childlike wonder of Shel Silverstein, the dry humor of Judith Viorst, or the biting wit of Dorothy Parker, these poets remind us that humor is part of being human.
As you head into or recover from surgery—or support someone else—you might find comfort in these verses. They show that even at our most vulnerable, we are still capable of joy, jokes, and laughter. And sometimes, that is the very best medicine.
